Adam’s Not Here

I’ve been in Shanghai for 5 days now, and I think I’ve finally beat the jet lag. I’ve been staying with my good friend Mason, at the same place I lived last summer and just getting settled in so far. I was not too sure what to expect coming back. With the pace of change over here, I thought I might come back to find a whole new city after 9 months. But things haven’t changed all that much, at least in the downtown areas where I live and hang out. The area where I lived for the first 9 months when I was here last time has been all torn down and is under construction with a new metro line running through it. Beyond the physical landscape, things definitely have not changed. Getting to the bank to change money, getting my phone to work properly, or registering at the police station can still be all day affairs. I can stand at the counter of a restaurant chain, about to place my order, and someone will still barge in front of me, and hand their money to the cashier and place their order, as if I don’t exist. And when asking for directions, or the location of a certain store, people will still tell you to try walking in some random direction for a while, even though they have no idea what your talking about. I have spent enough time living here, that these things don’t really bother me any more. I almost finding it endearing, like I’ve missed the zaniness that comes with Shanghai. Like the other day, walking by a hair salon to see 20 male and female staff standing in rows, engaged in some sort of team building synchronized dancing routine in front of their store in the middle of the afternoon. It’s good to be back to my 2nd home.

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Date: 05/17/2007Views: 509

When I came back to Canada last year, I found that I had lost about 13 pounds during my time in Asia. I knew I had lost some weight, but was surprised when I found out how much. Luckily, by being back in Residence and eating at Fung, I was able to put it all back on, plus a few pounds more. Now that I am back here, I am curious to see what’ll happen with all of that. Despite the fact that the food is pretty good here, I am sure I’ll be missing the hassle free nature of Fung by August. The other day I went back to my favourite dumpling shop and was delighted to find that the main woman behind the counter remembered me. She remembered that I was from Canada and how I used to come all the time last summer. It felt really good to be remembered like that, and even better to be eating their fantastic xialongbaos (steamed soupy pork dumplings) again. Through everything, I’ve found my Chinese is pretty much where I left it last year, which is a big relief. I still have a long way to go with it, but at least I am able to pick up where I left off.

So I am in the midst of wrapping everything up here in Toronto before heading off. Lots of packing, finishing off bits of work, seeing people, etc. This is now my third time having to uproot myself and it’s a familiar mix of emotions. It gets a little easier each time, but it always tough leaving people behind. It’s also rather sad to be leaving right when everything has started blooming and the city comes alive after hibernating through winter.

However, if its life and energy I’m after, I’ll find no shortage of it in Shanghai. I am very excited for my second tour, especially since it looks like I will have interesting work to do. The main thrust of my 3 month visit is to do research towards my current issues paper (CIP), a quasi-thesis that I will have to do next year. I’ve been lucky enough to get a travel grant from U of T, so my costs will be covered and I can focus on my work. I had bought my plane ticket back in March because I came across a deal that was too good to pass up. As time marched on and my search for a paid internship continued to fail in yielding any results, I was beginning to feel some trepidation at the prospect of having to teach English again to support myself. So the grant definitely brought about some relief.

For my research, I have general topic, which is to examine the role that foreigner architects and planners have played in the development of Shanghai since the 1990s. I found myself thinking about this kind of thing when I lived in Shanghai last year. What struck me when I was there was that I liked the older style of housing better, where people lived in mid-rise buildings with interior courtyards. I thought it was unfortunate that all the new housing developments were in the vein of the monolithic high-rise with poorly defined and under-utilized public space at it’s base. From what I saw, these new complexes seemed pretty dead compared to the old courtyard style. I lived in these old mid-rise style complexes when I was there, and what I loved was how people would just be sitting in lawn chairs in the little lanes and courtyards all day long. Playing cards, drinking beer, chatting or whatever, there seemed to be a real sense of community. I wonder if they’re losing that with this new style.

So that’s the plan for right now. Although, step number one upon arrival is to get some sleep and find a place to live.

As I prepare for a second go around in China, I thought it would be suitable to change the look of the site. After neglecting the blog since I’ve been home, I decided it was time to resurrect it before heading off again. I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with the blog. One the one hand, I find I really have to force myself to write entries, and I feel self-conscious about my style in the face of great blogs by Evan, Steph and my sister, among others. However, I really do value it as a way to stay in touch with people when I’m away and as a record for myself. Looking back on past entries, I am delighted to remember and relive precious moments that I would likely have forgotten without this record. With that in mind, the next chapter begins….

When I got back I wasn’t too sure about whether or not I should keep up this blog. Without any more travel stories I figured most of what I wrote would be rather boring and self-absorbed. But hey, what are blogs for anyways! So, based on the urging of a friend I won’t name (wait a second….) I suppose I’ll give it another shot. We’ll see if anyone is still checking it at this point.

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Date: 10/22/2006Views: 541

Now that I am back I have managed to reconnect with most of my friends and family from before. I’ve got my standard, How was the Trip? routine down pat at this point. A question that comes up a lot is, Do you think you’ve changed? or something along those lines. And that is something I’d like to take a little time to reflect on now. At the core, I am still the same person as when I left. I think most people will find I am more or less the same old Adam. What I have noticed since returning is that I feel much more confident and focussed. Some of this is simply getting older, to be sure, but there is no doubt in my mind that the trip also played a large part. Over in China you get treated kinda like a Rock Star, everyone else thinks you are so great, it’s a little hard not to believe it after a while. Sometimes this of course has terrible consequences, but it can also just help to deal with lingering self-esteem issues. Compared to the average Chinese person, most foreigners are very well-rounded and capable. This is not meant as a knock on Chinese people, but just as a realization of the considerable education that myself and others have received. Being in China, you don’t take all the stuff you know and can do so much for granted anymore. Both because of education and means, so much of the world that other people can (and do) only dream of is open to us. And when I say us, I mean most of my Canadian friends and family who are reading this, as you are, whether you realize it or not, in the same position. So taking all of this in, I feel that that this realization has given me more focus and ambition. I am painfully aware of my own mortality and I appreciate that we only get one chance to live. I am lucky in that I have come up with a bit of a direction for myself. But regardless of having a direction, I feel that it is important to take advantage of whatever opportunities are out there. You only live once and the reponsibility for squeezing the most out of life rests on no one’s shoulders but your own. We are lucky that our oranges have a lot of juice in them. So get squeezing!

So I made it. When the plane was coming in to land I looked out over Toronto and had the same feeling I used to get landing in Winnipeg when visiting my grandparents. After Shanghai, Toronto definitely has a quiet, small-townish feel to me. Everything looks almost exactly the same, I just see it differently now. The first couple days I felt pretty crappy, just generally jet lagged and not that thrlled to be here. Living at my Mom’s home sort of reduces me to feeling like a kid again. Starting with Res and now having taken the trip I realize that I really can’t live at home anymore. So it’s really good that I was able to pick up my keys for Res and start moving my stuff in. The last couple days I have been going around and seeing friends which has been a serious pick me up. I really missed all of you and am so happy to see you again. I am excited to get back to school next week. And besides, U of T has so many Chinese students, it’ll be like I never left Shanghai!

Ok, so now some random impressions while I am still adjusting. It’s really strange hearing Chinese people speak perfect English. They sound just like me, no accent, perfect grammar, it weirds me out. It’s great seeing people of all creeds and colours living their lives together. When I see Blacks, Indians or blondes walking down the street they are no longer being following by everyone else’s eyes. Further to that, there are a lot of wacked out looking people on the streets here. In China, the spectrum for types of people and styles you see is much narrower and more homogenous. I was talking to my Mom about this and we figured that here since people are encouraged to be themselves a lot more, eccentric or counter-culture personalities are not concealed. More stuff…. Main Street subway station is filthy, seriously, it’s really disgusting. So many people here are fat, especially women. Maybe it’s the summer, but Torontonians seem a lot more laidback and friendlier than I remember. Or maybe it’s just that I am actually able to communicate with strangers again. Either way, it’s kinda nice.

So tomorrow I head up with my family to the cottage for 4 days. I come back and jump right into Don training, which I am super excited for. The TAing situation is really up in the air right now, which is pretty frustrating since I need to get some cashflow going. I just have to wait a couple weeks and see how the chips fall. Other than that, the plan is to just try and get in shape, put some weight back on. Leila and I are planning to do Yoga twice a week (now it’s in writing, so we can’t back out!) and hopefully I can add a morning workout routine on top of that. I’m going to see if I can audit a Mandarin class so that I keep up my exposure to the language, I definitely don’t want to lose it. So that’s it, hugs and kisses to everyone back in Shanghai (don’t worry, not to you Mason) I miss you all a lot.